Stories of my Life: The Stewpot with the Lid

This post has absolutely nothing to do with cooking; at least, not in the edible sense. The edibility factor is simply not there. On the other hand, the boiling part is. This story has everything to do with the dangers of a stewpot with the lid tightly screwed on and an easily fed fire.

I usually tell people that Jesus saved me when I was ten. Truthfully, I remember asking him to come into my life at seven. However, since I never felt like I actually changed until later, I cite age ten as the true date. It was at age ten that I feel I came to true repentence for my sins. And, it happened in the following manner.

We'd moved to a place that I strongly disliked; and that's putting it mildly. In the beginning, I thought it would be fun. It was the first move that I was old enough to help and remember clearly. Any eight-year-old likes fun and adventure, and that, I thought, is what it would be. Of course, looking back, I realize it was in many ways, but then, when I saw the place where we would live, I couldn't help but thinking that I'd been seriously mistaken.

The place was tiny; not tiny as many people think of as tiny, but truly smaller even than that! It was about the size of a Sunday school room in a church. Furthermore, all five of us siblings had to fit in it and share a closet that should have been for only two people. Still more, the room was shared with a computer desk, a wall of food buckets, five beds (two bunk-beds, but still..), and the mess of all five. Yeah, let's face it, kids are messy, and it wasn't a pretty picture to see. And that's not all! The place had rules. Lot's of them! "No running, no leaving dishes out, it's not your property so treat it with respect, keep the doors closed, no shouting"...the list could go on.

About the only safe place was outside. That was also the only plus I could see. The place was on a piece of large property over which we had free reign. But, of course, you couldn't go outside all the time, sometimes it rained, (it never snowed, we'd been used to several inches of snow in the last house, but in this place we could literally count the flakes on one hand. Another minus).

Most people seem to think of me as bubbly (where they got this idea I still have yet to determine). While generally cheery, I internalize things more than most people realize. With the background I've just given you, you can easily see that I began to build around me a castle wall. And inside the castle was a kitchen, and inside the kitchen was a fire, and on the fire was a stewpot, and that stewpot was me, and the fire was fed almost constantly by being in the new place and letting myself be rubbed the wrong way by just about everything.

It went on that way for nearly two years. Until finally, I couldn't stand it. At church one day, I wandered into the then darkened sanctuary and cried my heart out to God. He heard me and answered. I've never been the same since.

It took a little while after that for me to pinpoint my problem of bitterness to the correct sources. God used a school curriculum that I disliked to make me see my exact sin. After that, a long talk with my parents and everyone else I could think of that I was mad at, my consience was completely clear. It felt wonderful!

While I can't say I never struggle with bitterness anymore, after winning that large battle, it definetly has become easier to fight the subsequent ones. I would encourage all of you, if you have a list of things that "other people have done to you," forget it, rip it up, throw it away, and ask those on the list to forgive. With that list, you've probably been trying to keep other people on the hook, but in reality, you've hooked yourself. By ridding yourself of that list, you can find release and freedom. Forgiveness and repentence are powerful. They are the two most often detailed principles found in the Bible. So, in the words of our dear Savior, "Go, and sin no more" (John 8:11)

(This has been: Stories of my Life. Tune in next time to read another: Tidbits!)